I needed a new computer chair. My chair of 10 years finally started to die. One arm fell at a 45 degree angle from the side, and just the other day, the back snapped when I was leaning back. So, despite being well worn and well loved, it was time for a new chair.

I didn’t think it would be that big of a deal. But then I start looking, and I noticed one thing in common. None of them seem to go low enough. What. The. Motherfucking Fuck? My chair is just perfect, but all these chairs are so high.

I pick one out, one that seems to go the lowest. Its not perfect, but its a chair. I excitedly wait for my husband to assemble it, only to discover its 4 full inches higher than my old chair. Look, I know I’m short, okay, but I’m not the only one. What makes matters worse, it seems like there are no short people chairs anymore. I need something with  a 14″ height. But strangely, every job has always had ones that go that low. Usually the older chairs. So I surmise this is a change that has only come about in the past few years.  Oh, they have big and tall chair sections, but none for us small folk.

To make matters worse, my old chair is now disassembled (a failed attempt to make a franken chair to suit my needs.) And office depot won’t take returns on chairs that are assembled. but did I mention its impossible to take the base off once its on? And this goddamn chair is so uncomfortable. Sitting in the chair for 1 minute in the store it seemed fine. 20 minutes at my desk and I’m feeling all sorts of fatigue.

Beat that, beyotches.

I talked to the singer Tommy for a while. We talked about my water proof camera (which I kept dunking in my drink to show how it worked). And then I found out that they had a new album coming out called “Pump”.

I woke up shortly afterward, but it felt so real. I even looked online, but there is no news of a new album.

Gotta love cold medicine.

I work(ed) with an amazing group of people. Smart, innovative, creative. Friendly, funny, silly, even. We have shared some great ideas and to have that just torn apart by uncaring, underachieving management – Well, its just shit.

I often fantasize how great it would be for all of us to start a company together, away from the constraints of the corporate machine that keeps us from accomplishing anything. The 20-percenters. The thinkers and the doers, the innovators. Of course it is just that – a fantasy. We’re all mid-career, needing the guarantee of a paycheck and not the risk of a start up. Still, it makes me sad, so much potential lost.

Tonight, I saw another brilliant, talented person walk out the door. Everyone gathered. Including several of the people that had left prior. I was so happy to see them all, yet couldn’t help but feel angry at the company that fucked it all up. Still it was good to see them. Such vibrant people. I miss you all.

This blog first appeared online somewhere around 2000 during a bout of sleeplessness. 8 years later, I’m back where I started. Everything has changed yet I’m still the same. Perhaps a little wiser, a little grayer. And years later I still can’t sleep.